Things I thought

Wednesday 23 February 2011

5 Reasons the left should support Labour councilors supergluing themselves to Eric Pickles

During the next few weeks, many local councils are setting their budgets. Some, particularly Labour councils, are being forced by central to make savage, destructive and irreversible cuts – the sort of cuts that were roundly rejected by the electorate in May last year. Paul Cotteril, a Labour councilor and political campaigner, yesterday made the case for Labour politicians to roll over and play dead to stop that big, bad Eric Pickles from doing something even nastier. Here’s why that strategy is bullshit.

1.) Eric Pickles will cut if they don’t

The Conservatives are pushing cuts onto local councils in order to shield themselves from the blame for their own policies. If this sounds like a conspiracy theory, ask why the worst of the cuts are all happening in Labour controlled areas - Tower Hamlets, Hackney, Newham, Liverpool and Manchester, to give some examples. By collaborating with central Government, Labour Councilors play right into Eric Pickes hands, taking responsibility for their opponents unpopular, damaging, undemocratic policies. Resisting cuts means the Tories will take the blame for their own shitty ideas.

2.) The removal of penalties means councilors don’t have to go to prison unless they want to.

Cotteril argues that the removal of criminal penalties for refusing to implement cuts makes it harder to resist, as councilors can no longer martyr themselves. This is patent nonsense - if councilors – Labour or otherwise – need a crash course in civil disobedience, I’m sure members of Britain’s ever-expanding anti-cuts community will be more than happy to oblige. When your local finance officer tries to implement cuts, disrupt the meeting, D-Lock yourself to the door, or do whatever you can to convince him to join the resistance. If Pickles takes over in his place, request a meeting and superglue yourself to him. There should be more than enough room on him for everyone to get stuck in.

3.)Resigning as a councilor means you don’t have to pretend to be a councilor any more.

If you’re unwilling to fight for the rights of your constituents, if you’re unwilling to pursue the mandate under which you were elected , if you are unwilling to say no to policies which will ruin the lives of people in your community you have no business being a councilor and you should resign. Arguing that doing this robs you of your powers is not the point – if you aren’t going to use your position to fight for people’s rights, step aside for someone who will. Plus, as a former councilor who had the integrity to stand up against Pickles and his mob, you can use your new-found credibility to help stop the Tories in a whole range of new, fun and exciting ways (see previous point).

4.)The cuts have no democratic mandate

As I’ve already stated, Labour politicians were not elected to implement the Tory cuts program. Neither were the Government. The scale of planned Tory cuts was concealed during the election campaign, and is being driven through, shock-doctrine style, in its aftermath by a party which failed to secure a majority. It is not the duty of progressive politicians to deliver the lesser of two evils. It is the democratic duty of every progressive in this country to resist the cuts by whatever means necessary.

5.) The Conservative agenda must be stopped

Along with the cuts, the Tories are planning the most radical set of public sector reforms in living memory. It is not hyperbole to state that, if they succeed, public services as we know them will cease to exist. To aid them in any part of their program is collaboration. This isn't about careerism or winning the next general election - it is about drawing a line and digging in. Even if you believe we cannot stop them, we must do anything and everything we can to slow them down, to make their lives difficult, to choke their bureaucracy and starve them of resources. If we don't, we'll spend our golden years telling our grandchildren what the NHS was, and how we failed to save it.


  1. Idiot. A truly retarded action.

  2. You have just replaced Murdoch as the most hated person in the UK, you attention seeking idiot.

  3. You utterly vapid moron.

    Where you haven't solicited sympathy for Murdoch, you have distracted the news agenda away from a genuine source of accountability.

    You have made the world a worse place. Pillock.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. And guess what the headlines tomorrow will be, instead of focusing on the phone hacking? I'll say it again, you really are a retard. Complete and utter idiot.

  6. You're a frigging moron. You've totally distracted the media now from the real issue. You absolute TWAT.

  7. You do realise that YOU DIDNT HUMILIATE MURDOCH right? What were you thinking? You just moved attention away from the issues and embarrassed yourself. Many, many more people will now support the Murdochs. How stupid do you feel. Oh, and seriously, I just saw your 'comedy' sketch on having your phone stolen - it's really not funny, and I'm not saying that because of your stunt with Murdoch. Seriously YOU ARE NOT FUNNY in that sketch - AT ALL!

  8. What a total twat you are!

  9. Hi mr marbles.
    can i congratulate you on providing a world wide smile for the pie in the face trick. dont listen to the haters on twitter that was an epic win!
    im surprised you got the foam and plate into the building. if you hid it where i think you hid it , you will have no problem accomodating your cell mate when they bang you up for a terrorist attack

  10. You stupid fucking cunt. You just attacked an old man who was being legitimately being made to look stupid. You utter utter moron.

  11. Who wants a pie of pie, hope they dont be too harsh with you, and release you soon. All the best. We will campaign to get you released.


  12. Epic backfire. Your ideology towards Murdoch et al is justified, your execution was however spectacularly bad.

    Better luck next time.

  13. Moron, Rupert Murdoch must be delighted that you've taken the bad headlines from him.

  14. Thanks to you the public is going to have to watch Select Committees through bullet proof glass. You are an attention-seeking twat.

  15. Woah man, I just find plentry of videos of this guy:

    I think it's an italian blog...

  16. Can I ask a simple question?

    What exactly were you trying to achieve today?

    I'm curious as to your thought process. You see, whatever you may have planned in your head, the reality was that it was a childish stunt that achieved nothing except to divert attention AWAY from Murdoch. Do you see how that could be considered a bad thing?

    You have made yourself look extremely stupid and you've given Murdoch the opportunity to gain some sympathy. Currently, right across many social media platforms, the big issue of the day is not how weak Murdoch came across in the select committee, how out of touch he seemed to be in relation to the running of his own company, but you and your idiotic fucking prank.

    You have added nothing and taken much. So, please, to satisfy my own idle curiosity, explain what your thought process was. What's the best you were hoping for?

  17. Who persuaded or paid you to do that?

  18. I'd have to agree with the statements along the line of "You've totally distracted the media now from the real issue.". Plus the blog name "JohnnyMarbles"... I mean,come on.

  19. You tool, you've just created sympathy for the devil.

  20. Shame on you!

    Your idiotic act will only serve to detract from the main issues raised today and have given NI institutions a means to glean sympathy for the Murdochs.

    Now grow up you fool.

    - DT

  21. Do you have ANY IDEA how much hard work genuine activists had to put in to get to this point where they had Murdoch on the ropes? And you, in one moment of pure, unadulterated SELFISHNESS have undone every last mother fucking thing that had been made to happen.

    Either you werer in the pay of News International to stage a stunt to take heat off them, or you're a fucking TRAITOR to everything you claim to stand for. EVERYTHING.

  22. Never mind the poe-faced bores, well done to you. Today you've made a whole country laugh out loud at a powerful man falling from grace. You gave him what he deserved: utter contempt and ridicule. This is far more than anything this committee is going to give him. One up for the little man.

  23. You're an asshole. You shame the left. As others have pointed out, you give the media an excuse to make your lame attempt the focal point of what was an inexcusable performance of obfuscation and outright dishonesty by two of of the most vile public figures (now, thankfully) on record.

    Go fuck yourself, Jonnie.

  24. Were you being paid by News Corp?
    Because you did a better job of elevating Murdoch's profile than his massively paid PR team could ever have dreamed to!
    Tomorrow morning Fox and Murdoch's 'newspapers', rather than shifting uncomfortably at Jr & Sr poor performance, can now cast RM as a victim.
    You have given Murdoch and News International the lifeline they needed.
    I hope you're happy, you prick.

  25. Mr May-Bowles, if you are in any doubt whether you did or did not do the right thing, please dwell on this. After your prank News International PR people were overheard saying: "This is good, we can use this!"

    I suggest you apologise profusely then keep a low profile for a long time.

  26. Well done May-Bowles you got the world laughing, but I'm afraid it was at you.

    Another Labour toff thinking he is a working class hero, do us a favour and fuck off. You don't and will never speak for the actual working class who think you are a plastic unfunny twat.

  27. Rupert Murdoch was down for the count. The parliamentary committee had their feet on his throat, crushing the last gasps of air from his body. Then a complete moron named Jonnie Marbles came along & through a single act of complete idiocy resuscitated Mr Murdoch so he could brush himself down & live to fight another day. Unbelievable! The first time in 40 years that Murdoch was to be called to account for his actions, and one publicity-seeking fool destroys the whole process.

  28. It was the most spectacular own goal I’ve ever had the displeasure to witness. However, the schadenfreude displayed by some is a little hard to stomach.

    My advice, Jonnie, would be: take a good, hard, long look at yourself – and then change. It’s never too late to become a refoamed [sic] character.

    Nah, seriously – apologise and move on.